Episode 26
Her Great Rebellion, trusting yourself and confidence with Sam Goldsmith
Sam Goldsmith is a spiritual leadership and business mentor helping multi-passionate women embody all parts of themselves.
With sacred strategy and powerful energetics, she helps her clients embody their brilliance, awaken the rebellion their soul has been patiently waiting for and unleash the impact they are destined to have.
She is a coach, an online course creator, an author, the host of a podcast, a property investor and the owner of an essential oils business - this is just a small part of what Sam has to offer as she is multi-skilled and multi-talented. Check out her website for more information https://www.samanthagoldsmith.com/
or her Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/samanthagoldsmithhq/
Radical Self Trust = Radical Results
If you enjoy this episode then please like, share, rate and review
Vanessa xxx
Transcript
Women In Confidence with Sam Goldsmith
[:Every week. I introduce you to amazing women who have interesting stories to tell about confidence through their stories, insights, hints, and tips. You realize that a lack of self-belief or low self-esteem is common and also very human, but by listening to them, you'll take away what they have done to show up confidently on the inside
as well as on the outside. When we don't trust ourselves and are afraid to share our thoughts, feelings, truths, and voices, we diminished the light spark within us. When we fell to celebrate our successes, make light of our achievements or retreat, we dump in the fire that sparks our greatness. These are just some of the words of my guest this week
nts embody their brilliance, [:And I hope you enjoy meeting Sam as much as I. Hello Sam and welcome to women in competence. Thank you for joining me today.
[:[00:01:36] Vanessa: It's I'm just so excited to have you on. The feeling is very mutual. So tell anybody where you are at the moment. Cause I think this is really important that people understand what's happening in your part of the world.
[:[00:02:11] Vanessa: but the good news is you're okay.
And your house is okay. And your family's
[:[00:02:19] Vanessa: okay. Just so everyone's aware, you might hear the birds in the background. Australia has probably the noisiest birds in the world, but they've just popped up to say hello, because apparently there's another storm coming and this is their reaction to it.
nterview anyway. So let's do [:[00:02:45] Sam: having confidence for me really means trusting myself or trusting yourself.
And throughout my work, I talk about that as the basis for any decision-making so real true kind of unresolvable confidence for me comes from trusting yourself
[:[00:03:12] Sam: It's definitely not easy. It's something that I hold myself to account on every single day. And I always say that it's a new level, same devil kind of scenario that it's, it's something that we have to be really, I don't want to say working on because there's so much work that we get pressured with, but I feel that it's something that we have to.
Hold a commitment too, because as we grow and you sort of devil arises and that all those little icky bits or sticky bits that have held us up in the past, come back. And so I don't know. I feel that I'm a self-confidence expert. I don't feel that I'm any type of superhuman ability or anything like that.
eally, honestly, I'm holding [:[00:04:05] Vanessa: more. So when you're in a state of trusting yourself, how'd, your trusting yourself, what does that feel like for.
[:For me, it's really based on knowing that I'm operating from my internal guidance. And even if that sometimes feels scary, if I do have that certainty inside that I'm honoring my feelings or I'm listening to my intuition or monitoring. The way that's arising in my body, then I can feel confident to move forward in trust.
Even if it feels a little bit unsure or uncertain or shaky or scary it's their inner guidance or inner integrity that I'm looking at when I'm deciding whether I'm trusting that action or not.
[:You felt a little bit nervous and you've had to rely on your trust. When was that last time? Probably
[:And that happens to me quite a lot throughout my day. But today it happens to me because I was thinking about investing in a program with a coach. And it doesn't really make sense to me, this coach specific program that I'm being called to do, but it's come out of the blue and the name of it is pressing on me.
Repeatedly. So I feel like that is a program that I'm going to have to sign up for, even though it wasn't the one I was going to her work or her website for it's been it's been pressing on me. So that's an indication I think of trusting myself that, it's a financial investment. Sometimes those financial investments can give rise to an anxiety about, what, whether we can afford it.
What's the return on investment, blah, blah, blah. But the. Impetus is coming from within to choose that particular one. So I'm trusting myself to go for it with that one. So we're going
[:I just thought if someone's talking like that, I've got to have someone like that on my show. So talk to me about her great rebellious.[00:06:40]
[:Yeah. So as a concept, it's really about. Activating a sacred, what I'm calling rebellion within ourselves, which is following that inner guidance and inner decision-making process, even in the face of ridicule or what else, or, I dunno, just going against the grain, of your normal of your normal life or the normal expectations that, that may be placed upon us.
So I've called it rebellion because. I feel like it's something that takes a decision and often some effort or commitment or recommitment because we have that sort of niggling feeling or thought process occurring in our heart or in our being. And it actually takes something to. Put it forward or put it in forward into the world.
press ourselves, we won't be [:And ultimately everything comes back to a fear of not being loved. The rebellion is choosing yourself and choosing to honor those thoughts and feelings and desires that are arising within you uniquely and moving forward from that place and choosing
[:There's a whole bunch reasons which I know you're going to uncover, but it feels so natural to just choose yourself, but what gets in the way.
[:I, I, my intention was to choose myself and now I've found myself, totally overwhelmed by. The day-to-day demands of life. And I think for women, especially, we are not conditioned to put ourselves first, we're conditioned to do everything else. And then if there's time leftover it'll be for us.
we have in our society to do [:First really does us a disservice by chipping away. And in my book, I call this a thousand acts of tiny, tiny acts of self betrayal. But when we say yes to something that we mean no to, or know that you mean yes to those tiny little acts of self betrayal chip away at our center. Self and our true, authentic, unique selves.
And so we actually don't even know how to choose ourselves first, a lot of the time, because we are so conditioned to know. Doing that or understanding what it even means. And of course, there's all the other elements of choosing ourselves sometimes means disappointing someone else or hurting somebody else or not being liked or causing a disturbance.
And this is where we see like the unique pathways that start cropping up in people's lives based on. Upbringing and their experiences. And I go very esoteric with it, even into the patenting that they're bringing into this lifetime based on generational things and yeah. That sort of stuff.
[:You've got so much going on when you talk about rebellion, is that saying rebel against. Some of your belief systems now that the reality might be different, but the belief is probably the [00:10:40] one that's most entrenched and probably difficult to shift. So are you saying rebel against your own thinking to find that trust and
[:Yeah. It's a great question. And a tricky one because I see we have this associated. Rebellion being negative or causing a ruckus or anarchy or something like this. But I talk about this idea of sacred rebellion and it it's more actually aimed around being really kind and gentle to yourself and accessing the true nature.
All of our cells as limitless beings, which is never to, to criticize ourselves and speak harshly to ourselves and do any of those kinds of things. Yes, I think it's about challenging the beliefs that are not really our own. And I talk about it in my book as. Bringing light or giving light to the illusions or the illusory thoughts that are dictating how we experience our lives and how we move forward and navigate different situations in our lives.
So how did you get
[:[00:11:56] Sam: Yeah. So I had a desire to write a [00:12:00] book for a long time, probably for about 10 years, actually. And my heartfelt desire was to write a book in co-creation with, with the intelligence of the universe.
Really? That sounds a bit where we were. I know you should go there straight away in the podcast, but it's true. I didn't want to be. Expressing my ideas or talking to people in a lecturing tone about what they should or shouldn't do. And so this book, I tried to write many times and it just didn't flow and it didn't feel inspired or guided.
And this time it came at the most unexpected time. Actually I left a very emotionally and psychologically abusive relationship. That relationship breakdown was actually the catalyst for a very significant sort of spiritual reconciliation, within myself. And that gave rise to writing the book.
t every day, but some days I [:If I'm following. Uniquely and correctly for myself. And then other days I did heat. Some days I did 500 words. Some days I did 5,000, but I actually wrote the book in 54 days. And it flows. From that space, which is why I'm so proud of it, because I say in there that I don't take credit or, or take blame for the contents, but it's based on my experience, plus the, what I believe to be channeling all of this.
Universal information. I'm not saying anything that is not has not been said before. And really none of us are none of our gurus and coaches or anyone are, but we just say things sometimes in the way that is perfect for another human being to hear and to, to recognize. And that's what I believe that book to be.
And
[:[00:14:23] Sam: I don't know. It just said it out. Yeah. I just, I just said that I guess I've been on a spiritual journey for. The best part of about 20 years.
he things and Bain tool, the [:Was the catalyst for me coming face to face with the big fears and things that I'd been avoiding. And so being right in the depths of all of that, I guess it was despair at that time, brought me face to face with those, those fears and looking at those fears and working through my own methodology.
On myself really is, is the thing that got me through it. So it wasn't that I learned something new. It was more about remembering things that I already knew or, or innately knew rather than what I'd been taught or learned. It's a really tricky thing to explain because I don't discount. Personal development, spiritual practice, anything like that because part of my business is aimed around that.
tial transformations or even [:[00:16:16] Vanessa: and during your reconciliation, what did you discover about
[:Oh my goodness. So much, so much. I guess the most. I shouldn't say the most. No, it's every chapter of the book is really related to something that I experienced myself during that process. And I think a lot of it started with a recognition of how much clutching for control we have in our day-to-day lives.
And most of the things that were causing me. Thanks. I could trace back to some type of clutching for control and of course, patching for control is related to trying to ensure safety and, and, that's a primary. Need or desire that we have, but the illusion of control and safety and recognizing that was probably the most significant starting point.
[:[00:17:21] Sam: I think I just had to. Recognize that it was happening. That was the beginning steps. I do, I used to have a podcast called numbness lay type a, because I had lived with type a tendencies my whole entire life.
And so the desire with the type a tendencies to want to do something and to control and to fix and to organize and to work it out and think it out. And none of that stuff was working. So it really started with just. Recognizing that it was happening and identifying the Fort. So I guess a bit of thought work and then following that through to the feelings and allowing the feelings to, to be there and not do anything about it.
And then as I, my mental state and my emotional state improved, then I could see. Waiting that into a bit of a methodology that would give me some sort of actions that I could take. So now, if I see that happening within myself, I do recognize it straight away. And I have some self-talk and some methodology around how I get myself through that rather than what I'd done in the past, which was utilized all of my fantastic personal development to.
Do or [:[00:18:50] Vanessa: energetics, cause I'm glad I brought you up that you started. I'm glad that you brought that up because I want to talk about energetics because we spoke about it when we first met.
So explain energetics to me again.
[:What I did in terms of following all of the universal laws and principles, things were still not flowing as they, they should. And we hear this a lot, we've got to be in flow. We've got to allow, we've got to deal with. Teacher gets painted of a goddess, like laying around on a chaise lounge, doing nothing.
sion I had the experience of [:And, the secret is a great example of this, that, you write, you write your things out, you do your manifesting, you do all this stuff and everything should just happen. And what I came or I've come to realize through my own life and my own work is that. It's a lot more subtle than that.
And it's actually energetics the impact that our feelings, I having on the way that we see things manifesting in our lives. And quite often, especially if we're high achieving, we can be doing all the things, but we're not tending to the feelings or to the inner state. And that in a state.
Is the energetics and that's what is interacting with the dynamics of the universe and creating the experiences that, where we're having in our lives. So to contextualize, I guess for listeners, it could be something like, we're running a business with. We're launching a program and we're doing all the things.
mismatch energetic mismatch, [:So this is equally, frustrating as it is inspiring because it's really hard for high-achieving people to accept that it is important to tend to ourselves and that our state is the most important thing. And that there's a lot more to that than just bubble bonds and. And messages, but I believe that trusting ourselves is the basis for that.
Because when we trust ourselves, we use our feelings as a guide and we chain into how, how are we feeling in each moment and becoming more attuned to ourselves. And there, therefore our decision-making capabilities and our innate intelligence and all those things
[:It just feels uncomfortable. I suppose there's a feeling and an emotion itself, but people just don't talk about it. And then when you said about making decisions, are people rarely make decisions based on feelings or I think certainly my line of work, they make them on rational things like data and information.
y. Just doesn't ever happen. [:[00:22:45] Sam: Yeah. This is such a great a great reflection because I totally understand exactly where you're coming from in my previous life.
I was an emergency nurse with an academic background and a master's degree and all those things. And I totally understand that. Decision-making is really taught, especially in corporate senses to be from facts and data. And certainly if surgeons operating on your brain, you want him operating from facts and data.
But what I would ask people to consider. Even when a surgeon's operating on your brain and then this will, you can find this when you read stories from these amazing doctors or amazing people that have done these sorts of things. Sometimes they'll just say something like, I dunno, I just felt I needed to put my finger there or I needed to do this first, or normally I would do this, but when I saw it, I decided I should do this or that first.
t going to mention this, but [:Uniqueness and to trust ourselves because it doesn't really matter what happens if we've done something from the space of, I knew with 100% certainty in my being that that was what I should do. There's no real recourse. No matter what the consequences are. Someone will probably have something alerting, it's what about this situation?
And I just don't believe it. I've, I've heard these stories from mums and I've heard them from brain surgeons. So there has to be. A different way in between all of that.
[:[00:24:57] Sam: rebellion?
love, love everything about [:My entrepreneurial toe dipping, and then it started, I just noticed that a feeling was coming stronger, that I wanted to escape the, the restriction, or some of the clinical practice and also the scheduling of. Having to be at work at a certain time, having to miss out on things with the family, because I had to work and I really wanted to create my own.
I wanted to be in charge of my own life and in charge of my own schedule and, in destiny, everything that comes from from having your own business. And so I trained as a kinesiologist and I started a kinesiology practice working one-on-one with people while I was still working as a nurse. And.
I had a lot of money blocks, to be honest, that I didn't realize at that point. And I never really made a lot of money from it. Not because I didn't, I wasn't good at it, or I didn't see a lot of clients, but because I always, I was always operating from a space of this should be free, like this great service should be free.
ese healers should be doing. [:But anyway, that's another story. The catalyst actually came in the most unexpected way, which was somebody approached me to run or to start an essential oils business. And I used essential oils and I loved them and I love this particular company I work with because the oil is all completely backed by science and they're published in journals and all these things.
So it was really a pure. The way that it was presented to me. And I never, ever, ever thought in a million years that I would run an essential oils business. That was like, I would have the clothes around my neck get away from me. I'm definitely not getting into that, but I did. And it turned into something that I had completely.
Never expected. And I ended up working with women that were started having really significant and profound changes in the way they saw themselves. Partly because of. The benefits that they were receiving with it oils, but also because of the community that we'd created around the business development.
of things because they were [:So I was already financially independent, but I didn't have any sort of passive income or residual income or anything like that. So it was really all, everything was always on my own steam up until that. Sorry in my box was going past it was always under my own steam. So this was something different because it was my first experience feeling real residual income and spaciousness around things, maybe not having to work out.
And this comes back to the energetics. It's that we're, we're fully invested in. We have to make something happen and we've got that mindset. It's actually quite hard to make things happen. So that oils business gave. To think about creating other things. And, since then some things have been wildly successful and others have been flops, which is the part and parcel of being an entrepreneur and something we just have to learn to live with and tolerate as well.
Yeah. Now I a. [:And so that's what I love talking to women about.
[:They're done. That is, I don't want to do that anymore. My confidence has been white. How do you cope
[:Because if we just believe that we've got one chance and everyone around us is waiting for us to flop or fail, it makes it really, really hard. So I guess, Having building the muscle [00:30:40] of being an entrepreneur is important. And I feel this is a conversation that we need to have when we talk to people around establishing this idea for themselves, because it is.
It is a fact that we have to learn too. I was going to say tolerate, but it's actually more embrace the duality that is inherent in being an entrepreneur. And so it's really a muscle and we need people or structures in place that can help and support us with that. So that's why I love coaches and communities.
And sometimes it might just be even a podcast that you listened to that is. The reference point away from what life is trying to tell you in that moment, but we need to have support.
[:And every woman has potential essentially, and every woman has something in them that they could talk about passionately. How how'd you draw that out? Again, there'll be people thinking I genuinely don't know what I could not necessarily passionate about, but I don't know what I could build a business on and what I could sell or whatever.
How'd you get that out of people?
[:So it may be that there's a business sort of sitting right there, or it might be that it evolves over time through a process of. Even knowing, what we like or what we don't like or what lights us up or doesn't as women is important because often we are just in the rock or the cogs of the, of day to day life.
And we don't actually stop and ask ourselves those questions. So there's always a starting point, depending on, every individual circumstances and what they've been exploring within themselves. To that point, but I do not believe that there's a woman who I couldn't NIR up something about that back to and it's happening at every level of, this whole new level, new level, same devil stuff that I find a lot of women that haven't been in business before, or have a little idea in their heart or a little inkling that.
They're the ones that [:And yeah, I have yet to be convinced that there is a woman who wouldn't have that, if that was. What she was looking for. And I guess it's like everything, because we can think that things mean things may nothing or things mean everything. It's all about our perception. And so looking for those things or having an intention or a desire to look for those things is important because we're only going to find what we're looking for.
Really. We chose that
[:[00:34:19] Sam: So the main program that I run is something called rebel life, bootcamp training, ground of the sacred rebel. And I do have some other programs that are attached to like private coaching and things like that. But this is something I'm really pouring all of my energy into from now on, because it feels.
[:And that's like the theory and nuts and bolts of it. But the program runs with monthly live coaching calls, which are designed for people to come in and out of as in how they feel. And there's no behind in it, so they don't even need to do the model. Prior role in any sort of sequence before coming into any of these calls and the calls are really just deeper explorations of the topics that are covered in the course and things that have covered in my book.
s to possibility rather than [:So that is like my, my third baby,
[:I think I started really about two years ago, which is quite late, into my life, but it is addictive. So I really liked these days for life because it is, or it should
[:And that's, that's just normal. That is part of. Actual evolution ease. And so it would be unrealistic for us to expect that it wouldn't. And this is a side point. I didn't mean to say this, but I just feel compelled to say it anyway, that it's what I believe to be a disservice that has been handed down through much of the personal development sort of industry is.
[:Those promises and guarantees, and I'm still struggling and trying to find a way that I'm going to be able to be comfortable with my own marketing. Because the first thing I say to people is let's just start from a basis point that that is never going to happen. And, you can pretend it is, and you can think it is, and you can search for things all the time, but until you actually trust yourself and until you make your inner guidance and your decision-making.
In a compass, the in-charge of your decision making. We're always going to be at the effect of evolution, which means that we've got to keep growing and we've got to keep. Knowing ourselves more and refining and discerning, and, it gives rise to more desires and all of those things. So it's not realistic to expect that there is going to be anything that's going to be the panacea.
I totally agree with you.
[:[00:38:45] Sam: Beginning to. Turn your attention inward and having an intention to receive in a guidance.
Sometimes that can sound a bit woo. Especially if you haven't done it before, but just having an intention to listen to yourself, to even understand what that might mean or look like, or feel like that's probably the number one thing that I could, I could recommend. And of course we could talk about this for days and weeks and years, but.
Just beginning to even ask yourself, what does this mean to me? How does this feel to me directing that inwards rather than looking outwards for answers or asking for opinions or second opinions or any of those Catchings to just tuning in any situation, any moment, any opportunity to discern or make decisions and see how you feel inside.
What'd you say
[:[00:39:53] Sam: Yeah those are two completely different things. Aren't they? So that's, I guess the first thing it's [00:40:00] sometimes we, sometimes we don't hear things that's okay.
Because we might go and have a shower later and it might just pop into our minds while we're having a shower, but often it's, we do hear things and we're ignoring them or we're failing to trust ourselves enough to take action on them. Those are two distinctions. I think that, we need to just be honest with ourselves and our bodies in our intelligence, our inner being, all these things that they it's, it's all part of our experience to lead us towards more fulfilling circumstances, whatever they are, whatever they relate to.
Or we, whichever goal, is sometimes the thing that people are looking at this questioning in relation to. Everything is we, we live in a loving universe. It's directing us towards good decision-making and unfortunately, it's our human that's often that's overriding that. Not listening to it, not wanting to hear it and not following it.
or to go a different way or [:But there, there was something that was going on that was directing them in a certain way. Good decisions and bad decisions. I guess everybody's had that. I don't know why I did it. I just felt oh, this was going to be the right thing. And. The tendency for women can be, oh no, I did. I did think through all the consequences and I still thought that I should definitely do this.
And it's just never true. Like it's so obvious with relationships. I think it's really obvious that, we do have those inklings and knowings and understandings, but whether we choosing to. Lead ourselves in powerful ways or not is a different thing. Sam, thank
[:I'm afraid of actually run out of time, these interviews or these conversations, really. They just fly by which, because I'm enjoying it so much. And I just want to hear more, but we've been talking about. In 50 minutes. So we do actually have to bring this to a close. So how can people find you? What, what's the place that you can direct our listeners to?
I
[:See, so you may be downloaded if you [00:42:40] like, and then I'm jumping on my list and you'll receive the next 3d, which is going to be an activation audio tracks. So yeah, that's probably the best place. Otherwise, all the normal social media things. To be honest, I'm a little bit hit and miss with them. So website,
[:And if you've got any programs right now,
[:Otherwise anybody can join anytime they like and jump in and get started. All right.
[:Podcasts. Thank you to the birds of Queensland and thank you very much for joining me. I hope you've enjoyed it.
[:for having me.
[:If you'd like to take part in my podcast or know somebody who would make a perfect guest, then please email me on contact@vanessa-murphy.com. That's contact@vanessa-murphy.com Until next time.
