Women In Confidence with Vanessa Murphy - Women in Confidence

Episode 32

Mic handover and I am interviewed on my own podcast!

Yes I am the guest on my own podcast! A previous guest suggested it would be a good idea for my listeners to learn more about me and my Women In Confidence podcast. This was recording a while ago and I am been putting off publishing it. Anyway this long weekend I just thought - I am ready for this episode to go live.

I hope you enjoy it and please rate, review and share.

If you want to know more about me and my coaching business then please use the following links:

Website: https://www.vanessa-murphy.com/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/womeninconfidence36

Insta: https://www.instagram.com/women_in_confidence_/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@womeninconfidence

If you want to know more about 1-1 confidence coaching with me then please email contact@vanessa-murphy.com

Transcript
Vanessa Murphy: [:

If you do please rate and review and share it widely with your.

I am joined today by Latifa who, is more of a welcome back actually, rather than, a welcome to the show. So welcome back and, and thank you for being a guest on the, the podcast a lot earlier. But we're flipping the tables today. We're doing things a little bit differently because Latifa is gonna interview me, which is exciting and slightly worrying

for you to run the show. I'm [:

Latifa: Oh, Vanessa, don't be shy now. no, I mean, thank you so much for giving me this opportunity to actually interview you. And the reason why is because you have such an amazing, an interesting topic that. There has to be a big story behind it. Like why did you start the women in confidence podcast and who is Vanessa?

And that is basically why I really wanted to flip the tables and be like, well, Vanessa, let me hear your story. I'm sure your listeners would love to hear that. So, yeah. There we go. all

Vanessa Murphy: right, well, we'll do your worst then.

Well, thank you so much for [:

And just the way that you interview your style of interviewing. Very interesting. And we know each other a little bit. I know you were in HR, that that is your background. And let's just dive in and just tell people more about yourself. What is it that you do exactly? With your job with your business.

Vanessa Murphy: Go ahead, so I got three sort of main activities of what I call my living or what I do. And one is absolutely. Yeah, you're right. Human resources. I've worked in human resources or HR to make it easier. Oh, a while, 20 years possibly something like that. Maybe even more than that, but certainly managing people and being involved in leadership of people for since about 90, 98, something like that.

t's a long time. Yeah, well, [:

Latifa: no, you're not.

Vanessa Murphy: So I've been and I I've always been fascinated by what makes people tick at work. So it was just a really natural thing for me to go into HR and to help people. And I hate people who say they, they help people at work, but it's true.

HR facilitates. The ability for a business to do what it needs to do through its people. So that's, that's what I do. And I work with organizations to just answers and help them answer some of their HR questions and their people and culture questions, which is how I prefer to focus people and culture is much more relevant to what I do.

So there's that. Then I also have a coaching business and it's a confidence coaching and I coach female clients around the, the whole conversation around confidence. And this podcast is, is really unraveling. Some of my thinking about confidence because confidence is the umbrella term, but actually there's so much more underneath it.

and some of their misbeliefs [:

And then also I have the podcast, which is my joy. I absolutely love it. I just love it. Oh, people should be able

Latifa: to see your face. Now, as you're talking about that, you are completely lit up talking about the podcast. Go ahead.

g since October last year, so:

It came out of a, it was a child of lockdown, I think. And because I'm in Melbourne, instead of baking,

Latifa: decided to do a park app.

Vanessa Murphy: I know. I mean, aim high yeah. Yeah. I got bored of doing POA cakes or whatever it was and I just thought, right. What can I do? So, yeah, so it came out of lockdown. So me in Melbourne, Australia, and I'm not.

iculously long lockdowns and [:

Which I couldn't do just normally, plus I was, sorry, I should also point out I was new to the country. So I didn't know actually know anybody, which was yes,

Latifa: because you're originally

from,

and we moved to Australia in:

So we were, we didn't know anybody. We were in lockdown and, you know, I love my family, but got a little bit sick of them. So I needed to find. Another source of like so many

Latifa: others. Yeah. Go on like the whole world. Thank you for saying that out loud.

Vanessa Murphy: I mean, love them, but yeah. You know, seven months.

t's how can I get connected? [:

And then I also wanted to have a lot of fun because I don't take myself seriously. Some people think I do, but I absolutely don't and I can laugh and a bit of fun, even if things are pretty shitty I'm I normally find a sense of humor somewhere. And then I also just wanted to take a lead on something and I wasn't sure what it was initially.

And I'd always been in leadership positions and taken the lead on things, you know, either through my work or just my, my voice or just my beliefs. And I sort of looked around and thought, what, what can I lead on? And there were a number of things coming up in my head and I pestered a lot of friends.

he thing that kept coming up [:

That's somebody else. Or, oh, I can't do that. And there's always this doubt and this lack of self-belief and I thought, well, there's my subject. It's confidence. I can lead on a conversation about confidence because I could also draw my own experiences, but the experiences of my clients who coaching. And so the three all just fell into.

I don't know, it just happened perfectly. So I had my topic. I knew I wanted to have some fun and I knew I wanted to be connected and the internet was like the solution to it. Mm-hmm and I was already a podcast list listener. All right. There's my thing. That's the cuz I'm not a YouTuber. Oh, You know, and I, yeah, a video is probably not is just not my medium.

I'll do it for:

Latifa: have, we have such a good podcast

after I sort of all had the [:

I literally like in a weekend, bought a microphone and. I learned how to do it and set up all these different softwares and art apps. I mean, I don't even know what I'm talking about when it comes to like providers and I just went with it. I literally just went for it and I put a shout out on. Some of I'm LinkedIn with some of my already my connections and, on the way we went and this will, this, I'm already onto episode 25, I think now.

cause I know almost for sure [:

I would love to start a business. I would love to do this, but like you mentioned, that's not me, or until things align for me or until. Take us with, uh, with you in that process from thinking about it, getting the idea and doing it because you said I just did. , but what got you there? What, how come there weren't any hurdles or limiting beliefs or not that they have to be there, but just to, you know,

Vanessa Murphy: yeah.

I think the limiting beliefs were there and they're still there. You know, I'm, I'm still probably comparing myself to other people who are doing podcasts and have been doing it for longer. So the limiting belief probably were there, like what will people think? Right. Or do I know about podcasting?

t thing to do. This is, this [:

Really? Mm mm-hmm I mean, yes, of course. Every now and then my little voice pops up and goes, who are you running a podcast? Oh, that's normal, but that's fine. I can deal with her. Just shut her up and put it back

Latifa: back in the glass and

Vanessa Murphy: do . But I, I, I think it just felt the most natural thing to do. It was, I mean, I know people who, who talk about flow and it was.

d he said something like, or [:

If we want to be a harpist, we have to play the harp. And I thought, well, that's a bloody good point, actually. Cuz if I wanna run a podcast, I've. Gotta be a podcaster. Gotta do it. Yeah. And if I want to be a confident person, then I've got to be confident. So it sort of made sense to me when I read that and thought, well, yeah, if I want to do anything, I've got to start.

You've got to start. So

Latifa: just go ahead and do it. Yeah. I think that's a beautiful lesson for anyone listening. I mean, obviously we're gonna fail. We're gonna have those little voices, you know, try to tell 'em like, what hell are you doing? But Hey, Hello, comfort zone, bye comfort zone,

Vanessa Murphy: right? Yeah. I mean a big discomfort zone.

start about marketing. And I [:

Mm-hmm . And so you, if you look at any of my. Materials from probably three or four months ago. It's really different to where I am now, because I've learned through the process. But if I'd spent my time learning before running the podcast, well, it would've been month. You know, I've been months in the making.

So I just, exactly,

Latifa: I think that is such a good point that you're making it's implementing while you go. So don't hoard information and then act on it. It's like you said, it felt well, basically it felt so aligned that it just came to you and the topic came to you and let's let's dive more into that topic because, okay, so the podcast, you said, okay, F the fear we're gonna do it.

I'm going stir crazy at home. I need to do something. I wanna lead on something, but then the confidence came in and you said, well, I noticed this with my

Vanessa Murphy: clients and, but. Must

nd of story of young Vanessa [:

Vanessa Murphy: I mean, I was always a really confident child, you know, I was the one who did all the ballet shows and I was on the stage.

I mean, not in a really like dramatic sort of Amram where I just, I was always quite a confident person. I was, I was in all the sports teams. I was pretty, you know, I wasn't top of the class, but I was pretty smart at you were. Engaged. Yeah, and I love school and it was only when I got into the workplace and there was a couple of incidents.

I remember quite vividly that I felt really knocked my confidence. And, and so I had, when I was, when I talk about confidence and I coach about confidence, I draw on those experiences of feeling confident myself and know what that's like. And almost let you feel like you can take on the world through to those moments in my life.

rom me. So I'd pull on those [:

Good for you.

Latifa: It would. No, no, I'm so happy that you're actually saying I'm a confident person, as women should say that more, you were mentioning microaggressions and some of them. Exhausting you and everything. Would you mind sharing maybe was there like one pivotal moment that you were like, wow, this, this speaks to me.

you know, maybe your clients shared those kind of

Vanessa Murphy: situations as well. So for me, cuz I thought about this actually before we came on and, and for me it was when I became pregnant and I worked in the Royal Navy and which is a hugely male dominated organization and I became, yeah,

Latifa: we need to get into that by the way as well.

Royal Navy, you just threw that in there. Right? I'm HR. I'm this. Oh, by the way, I also worked in Royal Navy.

s a big flipping woman cuz I [:

And I'm a really small person, but I got big with and when are you gonna have this baby? And all they'd exclude me from meetings. So they'd oh, well the nurse is pregnant. She, she can't do that. And, and I just, yeah. And. Treating me differently. And I wonder if that was me making up, but, you know, I genuinely felt at the time people were treating me differently because I was pregnant.

And then I had a really bad experience returning from my first maternity leave with a boss who. Just constantly drilled into me that I needed to be places at certain times when I just couldn't because of childcare restrictions. And he had asked me to work at weekends and we had and it was just, I don't, I, I, somebody even said to me, he, you know, he's testing you.

about three years of really [:

And so I just probably allowed it to some extent, but also it was just the culture that I was working in at the time. And. Yeah, I really lost some confidence. I I'd almost see it as a point in life where I actually don't remember. Anything from it in many ways, like it was like a blank period. I mean, probably become exhaustion of breastfeeding and God knows whatever.

Yeah. Oh, working full time. Really but I just look back, I can look back on myself and think, God, who were you? You were just, you lost your voice. You know, you just really didn't speak up. You were quite happy to just sit at the back of the room and take the notes in meetings and right. Yeah. It was a really odd.

st didn't have the knowledge [:

I really don't think it, I was gonna

Latifa: say, especially in corporate environments, people, you know, this is why many people leave corporate, just because of the culture and, you know, tensions and people say like, you know, as that I'm gonna do my own thing. So how did you get out of that? How, how, what was that process like for you to get back to

Vanessa Murphy: Vanessa?

Well, I actually stated the raw Navy for longer after both children, but I. I did a little bit of fuck you. I genuinely, I was like, like, we need to sort this out. An Vanessa. I was literally like, if I am, fuck you Navy, I am just gonna be me. And mm-hmm if you don't like it, then I'm sorry, but I can't be any different.

tely a, yeah, I think that's [:

Latifa: that. Yeah, it didn't just come

Vanessa Murphy: to you. No, not a, to be a process. Absolutely. And so I did, I just I started to remember all the things that was good about me. Like what, what do I like about myself empower to do?

I started to claim back some time, cuz I know when you have children, their time Steelers. And so I started to gain back some time for me. And so just more things like going for a walk or going to yoga or a run or even just going. For a coffee, you know, just anything that I be like, okay, right. This is time with myself where I don't have the kids.

I don't have my husband. I don't have my job. It's just me. And that was really important to just remember who I was. And so that was probably a slow process of trying to remember, okay, I'm not a mum now. I'm not a wife. I'm not, yeah. You know, a, an officer in the Navy, I'm just me and who is that? And I'm not normally one who spends a lot of time.

as such an important part of [:

And so I went through that process as well of getting back to sort of what I was known. For what I knew myself, all being fit and healthy. So yeah, it was probably, I reckon two years, maybe that process really took, or maybe a bit shorter, but I also, I was really fortunate to have a very good boss in a, in a job at the time.

And she was so supportive and she was, you know, role model and she was just a really nice person that had my back. And I think that really helped. Connecting with somebody who, you know, she challenged me. She didn't just take everything, you know, was just given. And she challenged me and she pushed me and she she just recognized something in me.

And I think that was so important. And I thank her absolutely regularly on that.

lnerable and when someone at [:

In this case, the Royal Navy in such an. Difficult high pressured environment. I think the fact that you were able to do that is even more astonishing, to be honest, because these days selfcare is very, like, it's almost like a buzzword and people, you know, self care for the win and you know, but in essence, it is so important to get back to who am I and who do I perceive myself to be?

then make the leap to HR or [:

Go

Vanessa Murphy: the route that you, that you went. Yeah. Well, my entry in HR is a very long story and not for this podcast, but I knew I'd wanted to go into HR pretty much. About third year I'd been in the Navy. I was, I was just curious about something and it was a, a tricky employee who sort of made me think I'm gonna learn how to.

Do this properly. So I actually got myself all qualified externally and just, and so it went, but I'd also been working. It's a go getter. I love that. So I think basically you say it's a high achiever. Maybe I am. I dunno, maybe I'm good with

Latifa: that either. no good for you. I

Vanessa Murphy: mean, guess driven. I'm driven. I know what I want.

rking in sort of HR strategy [:

And so that it was just a really natural transition into my first. And I always say civilian. That's what we call like a civilian job, which was with a company called Zipcar. And I'd gone from doing very strategic HR to moving back well, going to Zipcar and, and having to learn the ropes and, you know, having never really done a hate the HR normal career path.

It was, that was a big learning for me. But I guess my experience of being an officer in the military, Just set me up perfectly for it, because I knew I had strong communication skills. I could build relationships, I wasn't afraid of asking questions. And so I found that job hugely rewarding because I was do I wasn't in such a, I felt like a claustrophobic environment and culture and zip car was quite young and, and quite cool, which I'm not, but around that.

ere and yeah, so now I. Help [:

Latifa: it's, it's, I think it's so interesting because every company has values.

And also as an entrepreneur, we have certain values that we want to align with. So when you look at the career path that you took, what values do really speak to you that you're like. Maybe you're finally recognizing them, or maybe you were always aware of them. I think it's interesting to hear how that, that path goes because for some, I mean, just a little bit about me, for me, it was an enormous learning curve.

you go about that when, you [:

Yeah,

Vanessa Murphy: I think it's like test and learn or make some mistakes every now and then is if an environment doesn't suit you, then. If you can, if you are able to, you know, you need to get out and not stay and have the confidence to, to leave because it's not line. And maybe, you know, I did actually resign from the Navy.

I actually ended up staying. I was talked out of it because I just felt total misalignment with my values. And as I say, I say that, but at the time, I don't think I knew what my values were. I just knew something was misaligned. Yeah. And there was a incongruence between my life and probably what the military wanted.

eness of what my values are. [:

Yeah. I wouldn't have had a clue what my values were. I think my values were just, yeah, but

Latifa: what, what would you say. Yeah, exactly. What would you say to women that are in that state of mind? Regardless of their age?

Vanessa Murphy: Yeah. Yeah. I mean, if I could talk back to myself now, I would say, what do you like, what, what are you good at?

What makes you happy? What makes you smile? Where do you feel at your best? What's the environment. But you don't get taught this at school. Nobody says, right, we're gonna have a careers lesson and we're gonna talk about values. And what brings you joy? You talk about what you have qualifications and what's suitable for you.

Oh, you, oh Vanessa. You could be a doctor or you are a lawyer. They don't talk about, what's gonna make you happy. And it really pisses me off about school. And so I would say to my younger self, you know, all those questions and I probably wouldn't have done half the things. Ended up doing because yeah.

years [:

Latifa: would say, why did you join the Navy then? Well,

Vanessa Murphy: because, because at the time. I I needed job. I needed security. I needed some structure. I mean, you can't get much more structured than the military.

Latifa: Oh, well, uh, talk about a structured environment.

My

Vanessa Murphy: God. Yeah. So I think that's what I, where my head was at when I was 23. When I thought about it, I was in a job in London that, you know, was, was a good good job for it paid me to, so I could go drinking and smoking. . I mean, didn't.

Latifa: It didn't

Vanessa Murphy: really, you know, give me, give me a lot drinking money. . So I just, and I sort of felt like living that lifestyle London is fun for a while, but at some point you need to get your shit in order.

So I, I dunno, I just went 10 extreme.

went straight. Not just the [:

that's actually quite funny, but it does speak to the kind of character that you are. And to be able to endure that actually for 15 years, it must have brought you something. And I think where a lot of people. Say stuck is you mentioned, you know, is this something I like, does it bring me joy where people say stuck is, am I qualified for sport?

the women that you coach in [:

Vanessa Murphy: Yeah. So to your question, where do, where are they when they come to me? Normally they're pretty broken. Oh. And, and I don't, yeah, I've had, I've had clients who cry and that's fine because that's just such a release of emotion and energy. And that's such a process to go to, but a lot of them are broken in some way.

I wouldn't say they, you know, completely on the floor. They wouldn't seem professional medical, professional, you know, there's something in their life that's dented or they're bruised in some way. They come to me because they have run out of ideas themselves and, or they, they just need somebody to, who's probably been there and done that to just guide them through.

h me because the system, the [:

And they've lost their voice and they don't recognize themselves. And so it's normally people who have experienced pretty awful workplaces where they come to me.

Latifa: Yes. Mo mostly corporate women that find you, or would you say that you're, you know, you're open to any kind of client.

Vanessa Murphy: Dealing with confidence issues.

It's really mixed. So I do deal with people who work in corporate environments, uh, and that gets used quite a lot. You know, I work in a corporate, but, and, and that's not always people know what that means, but yeah, some people work in, you know, big organizations, well known organizations. And then I have small business owners.

n company and because that's [:

Yes. It, it doesn't matter actually. And that's almost irrelevant. I think.

Latifa: Yes, because you mentioned like it, confidence is the umbrella of why people come to work with you. And I suppose it's more of an empowerment thing. And you know, me being an empowerment coach, obviously that speaks to me, but I love how you're like no tying, basically your whole history of your own work together with this is who I used to be.

, of course they'll be like, [:

I know what I like, but it's totally different from what I'm doing right now. How do I get the confidence to follow that path? Or what would you

Vanessa Murphy: advise them? Yeah. So where I start and probably where I started was saying to myself, and I say this to my clients, you know, what do you want? What do you want?

What is it you want to achieve? In, you know, I mean, you can do it macro in life, or you can do it by six months. You can break it down by next week, but what is it ultimately you want to be have, you know, all those things. And then, and if that vision is clear and understood by the individual and believed by the individual, cause you've gotta believe it.

Mm-hmm. Then that's the starting point point. I mean, I could say, I wanna go to the moon and be a national, but really, I mean, I don't believe that to be the case, but exactly. So, but if I said, well, I wanna run my own business and I want to make $250,000 by the end of the year. Then I know that I can do that and I can believe it.

And it's a vision [:

Latifa: you said that one is so important. What stops you from

Vanessa Murphy: doing it? Yeah, cause I think it's very easy to say all this out here, that person or this office or this business is stopping me.

But you have no control over that. You have, I have no control over what, you know, my boss is gonna say, or the business might, I dunno, take a new direction. And my job is redundant or I dunno, I, I have a new team to manage in the horrible or unprofessional, whatever it is. I have very little control over that, but I have control over myself and so really saying, okay, It's not all that stuff.

me. So what is it about me? [:

And what's stopping you. Well, actually let's flip it and say, what have you got going? That's gonna help you and support you. Get to where you wanna be. Because I tell absolutely. If you were to write down a hundred things that you've, that are good about you and positive and confident, and you actually sit and listen and, and reflect on more, your hundred things, you'd be like, yeah, damnit, all those things are gonna help me achieve my vision.

Latifa: Totally. Yes. And then exactly looking at, but what is stopping me and what if it, there wouldn't be anything that would stop me. So I believe gay Hendrix calls that he wrote the book, the big leave going from your zone of excellence to your zone of genius. And I think many women are stuck in their zone of excellence.

do I really want? What is it [:

Vanessa Murphy: I no genuinely that is so I a bad thing for my mom.

Latifa: Sorry

Vanessa Murphy: for you. No, I, if my mom listens, she'd be like, damnit, why didn't you say me? Like my dad actually, like my dad was, you know, he left home at 15 and he knew he didn't want to be in that environment anymore. So he left home and he did really well for himself. And mm-hmm, , you know, he's not a female, but he's a role model in saying.

To me that if you want something you've got, you've gotta work hard. Don't get me wrong, but you, you can achieve it. And you can achieve really big things from a 15 year old boy living in the north of England with very few qualifications to do very well. He was inspirational for me, but there was no female role model.

I thought about this while it doesn't

a female role role model, it [:

Vanessa Murphy: I, I, there was a post on LinkedIn recently about mentors and role models. And somebody posted the question about who was similar to what you asked me. And I, I genuinely thought about it. and I, there's a really sad fact that I didn't have a mentor or a role model when I was younger.

Maybe it's not sad, but it. But I think the awareness now of having mentors and being role models is so much more in focus. And so, you know, my kids, uh, well, of a generation coming through will, will probably identify with role models and there'll be more of them about, and they might even have mentors, whereas I just don't.

That just wasn't something you had in the eighties when I was growing up. It just, yeah. Yeah. This wasn't a conversation that I remember. Wasn't a,

Latifa: no, exactly. It was get your schools, get your grads straight, you know, have your diplomas, have your credentials, then get a good job and then you're allowed to dream or whatever, but first you need to get that in check.

Absolutely. So.[:

Tell us more about this because I feel there's you mentioned it to me. I think it's so beautiful. What's behind. The drive behind this whole podcast. So share

Vanessa Murphy: if you want. Yeah. So one of the, the reasons why I set up is because I, well, I suppose, because I've been through some of this, these challenges around my self esteem and self belief, and so I want the ability to help other women.

ther women to not have to go [:

Yeah. And saying that it doesn't have to be that way. So that that's sort of some of the, the reasons behind the podcast. And when I get my guests on, I, I choose them. I don't just take anybody random. So you were chosen. They bring something to the podcast that can be shared and anybody who listens to it.

And I hope, you know, people really sort of get the word out is that my guests bring hints and tips and they share their experiences and they share what's worked for them. So that if, if somebody's listening and they go, okay, well, Latifa tried this or Vanessa or whoever she did this. And that really worked for her.

in the direction they wanna [:

And yeah. You know, and that's not bullshit. That's genuinely how I feel. I want people to listen and take action and change their lives and it, so just my way of doing it.

Latifa: And preferably even on a bigger stage, if you want to share a little bit about that, unless you feel like no,

Vanessa Murphy: that, but I mean, are you talking well, domination and, and not, not in a negative sense as what's going

Latifa: on, say who run the world,

Vanessa Murphy: but I mean, I dunno where I don't know where.

speaking to something right.[:

Yeah. And I, I know I've got some regular listens in Argentina, so shout out to Argentina because oh, the time I drop fast so, I mean, I, I do want it to be listened more. I mean, if I, if more people can listen to it and it changes their life, other than it's that small change, you know, I might not be able to change the world in one.

Move, but I can do it one person at a time. So that's really in terms of where it's gonna go. I, I will be launching a, a sort of 15 minute, uh, confidence. What am I calling it? Bite size confidence, because I know not everybody can listen to a 45 minute podcast. Mm-hmm so there'll be some 15 minutes and then I'm looking at.

Memberships as well. So exclusive content one-to-ones with me, you know, face to face real time, whatever. I mean, you can check, I have no idea about it. like, what is

think it's such a good role [:

And with the right marketing terms and whatnot. No, no. Why throw it out there? Who cares? If you can help someone. That's the goal.

Vanessa Murphy: Yeah. I mean, I'm really honest and say, look, the podcast isn't perfect. It really isn't. But I like it that way. It does just genuinely doesn't

Latifa: bother me to me. I, I, I, listen, I'm not gonna name names, but I listened to some big name podcasts, and I'm like, sorry that you are definitely on a higher level than that.

n October, I'm already at my [:

I'm doing this while. Running my business while having a very high demand job while running my household with, uh, my kids and being a wife and whatnot. I mean, you can literally do it all because like you said, the internet is limitless. Just do it. That, that this would be that Nike slogan. Right? Just

Vanessa Murphy: do it.

well, wouldn't that be good if they sponsored me? Hey, anybody listening from Nike? If you want you're

Latifa: listening. Exactly. No. So let's do a few Spitfire questions too. Get to know more about miss van, Vanessa Murphy, so tea or

Vanessa Murphy: coffee, uh, coffee. And I have one with me now, actually. So I've been drinking away.

You've been drinking. I live in Melbourne. You can't drink tea in Melbourne. It's coffee. Really? Yeah. Yeah. Coffee is like the thing and it's great. I'm gonna really struggle going anywhere else in the world once I've left Melbourne. Cause the coffee is so I never knew

that cause I'm a, a genuine, [:

At so, okay. Morning person or evening.

Vanessa Murphy: Whew. If I can be asked to get outta bed on time. Or early I'm Def I love the mornings. Like I, I read, I do my admin, but actually I'm quite, I love a lion, so, oh, it's a tough, that's one of the hardest questions you've asked all day. Really? Oh, well that's all. I mean, cause I love getting into bed at night as well in reading.

So I can't, I'm just gonna have to sit on the fence and say, but

Latifa: since you have a Navy background, I guess that was drilled into your like early morning yeah, no matter what your position was in the Navy. I mean, discipline is a big name, so yeah.

Vanessa Murphy: And actually early mornings you're right. Some, so when I was an officer of the watch on a board of ship, some of, sometimes we'd start at we'd work at midnight till four in the morning.

u got used to it and you got [:

Latifa: up well, maybe first you need. Melbourne coffee then. Well, back then it was Melbourne, but then you can think straight.

Okay. Amazing. Well, it's good that those remnants of the things you took with you from the Daer silver next sweet or. Savory

Vanessa Murphy: savory without a doubt. I could not live without what your favorite savory snack peanuts. Peanut butter peanuts. Oh really? Yeah. Yeah.

Latifa: When I was pregnant, everyone listening with an allergy is like, oh yeah, keep it away.

Vanessa Murphy: When I was pregnant. That's the, anything I crave was like peanuts. I dunno what it was stayed. Yeah, I absolutely, I could not live without peanut butter. I mean, genuinely I couldn't birthday. I

Latifa: heard that that's really, really hilarious. I can't live without peanut butter and you're not even American. Okay.

That's funny. [:

Vanessa Murphy: non drinker drinker. Yeah. Although I've cut back a lot. I used, I love, but I tell you, living in Australia is a shocker cuz the wine here is so good. Really good.

Yeah, like a Bara, she as, oh, my word. That's my weakness. Here's

Latifa: she goes, she's going on a no, you've got me. OK. Now I'm a drinker. and now you're a drinker. Okay. What is your favorite

Vanessa Murphy: sport? I used to play hockey when I was younger. I don't really do a sport I'm yoga, which is not a sport. Is it you live kinda a sport?

Not

Latifa: well it's physical movement. Some like,

Vanessa Murphy: yeah, but I watch my kids play cricket. Does that count?

Latifa: okay. So, best book you've ever written.

Vanessa Murphy: The written read. I was gonna say okay. Best book I've ever read is. And some people will, well, many people probably won't know this, but it's a book called goodnight, Mr.

To. And it was made [:

And it's just a beautiful story of. A boy who hasn't come from much lava, broken home and he moves in with this quite a gr man. And they, they just have this most beautiful relationship. And it's the story of this boy also coming from an inner city to out into the country. And in that day, you know, when there was no internet and then none of travel and his eyes are just opened to the world and it's, oh, it's just beautiful.

Michelle Maorian thing. And [:

Latifa: any final thoughts you wanna share with your listeners? And I would definitely encourage all your listeners.

If you have any questions for Vanessa personally, I mean, DM them, email them, you'll find all the information in the show notes. I'm sure Vanessa. Absolutely open for any questions. just filling that in for you. so final thoughts

Vanessa Murphy: yeah. So I always think that confidence is a bit like what I think like a computer operating system is how I sort of can sort of describe it.

And so if you have a

on your laptop, you have to go into the laptop. It's not something you can fix externally. You've gotta go into the laptop and fix the operating system. So imagine your, a human is the same. And so what I say to people is. You have to recognize that floor. You have to know what it is in order to be able to fix it.

e and recognizing going, ah, [:

The distinction is so important. Absolutely. And then identifying ways to address it. So you've recognized it you've faced into it. You've accepted that it's there. And you're starting to understand it and then find ways to, to overcome it and to address it. And there's so many ways and that's for another podcast and how you can really address it.

And for me, it was yoga meditation, probably the podcast is a form of my therapy in some way. Yeah. And so those are my three, so recognize it, understand it, and then address it.

hings up and, and get things [:

If you have the confidence, do it. If you have the confidence to take the leap to jump to. Start the podcast to. Not be freaked out when you get downloads all over the world, but actually see it as encouragement. And, even to be interviewed yourself because I know you hesitated and I really needed to convince you to do this.

So I'm so happy that this Vanessa, thank you so much. I'm gonna give the reins right back to you after all, this is your podcast, but, thank you so much for, allowing me to do this and, I can totally see you part. I can totally imagine people just being incredibly fascinated by your Royal Navy story, but that's just

Vanessa Murphy: me.

Well, no, thank you for interviewing me. And it wasn't actually that bad. It wasn't. I was quite nervous. I genuinely was. Cuz

Latifa: I know you were. Yeah, so, but they were good

onfidence. And that's really [:

Latifa: thank you so much for allowing me to be the host and granting me this big, opportunity to do that.

It was very honored.

Vanessa Murphy: Thank you so much for listening to women in confidence, and I hope you enjoyed it. If you did, then please like it. Share it, comment on it. And if you want to sponsor. If you'd like to take part in my podcast or know somebody who would make a perfect guest, then please email me on contact.

Vanessa hyphen.com. That's contact Vanessa hyphen com until next.

About the Podcast

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Women in Confidence

About your host

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Vanessa Murphy

Vanessa is a HR Consultant, a Confidence Coach and a Podcast Host. She is also a women who encounters the highs and lows of confidence and has much in common with her guests.
Vanessa got her first proper job in 1998 when she joined as an Officer in the Royal Navy and then after 15 years doing that, she transitioned into senior HR roles working for organisations all over the world.
She has always been fascinated by people who exude confidence and how they did it. An avid people watcher, she observed people when they were operating with confidence and self-belief and learnt so many strategies, tools and techniques. She now helps other women with confidence at work and this podcast is a way for her to share her knowledge and her network with a wider audience.