5 things you can do to help your Confidence - Women In Confidence with Vanessa Murphy

June: 2022

[00:00:00] Hello,

and welcome to Women In Confidence with me, Vanessa Murphy, HR expert, confidence coach, and now podcaster. This podcast discusses all things to do with confidence in life and in work. And this is a podcast for women who want to learn what confidence is, how to obtain it and how to maintain. And learn how confidence can help you grow and flourish every week

I introduce you to amazing women who have interesting stories to tell about confidence through their stories, insights, hints, and tips. You realize that lack of self-belief or low self-esteem is common and also very human, but by listening to them, you'll take away what they have done to show up confidently on the inside as well as on the outside.

Welcome to this bonus episode of women in confidence. So why have you got me again? Uh, doing my own thing. Well, I've had a couple of cancellations recently due to illness and I've had to move a couple of recordings due to illness. So there seems to be quite a lot going around no matter where you are in the world, I'm Australia, but some of my guests were the us and one in France and another one in England.

And [: 00:01:20

So a couple of weeks ago I did a change to my branding to make it look a little bit more how I wanted to express women in confidence. But now I have also changed theme tune. And that's largely because I'm moving from, from an old software that I used when I first started out to something new and a new editing suite.

And I couldn't bring the original music with me, but I hope you like this one. I went through a number of tracks to find something that was uplifting, funky, cool confidence, something that not only expressed myself and my personality, but also brought out the winning confidence personality and what I want to achieve by it.

So as I've got your attention now, I thought I would just talk about five things. I've learned about confidence, but from doing this podcast and I've learned from all the guests I've had and I'm now up to, well, it will be episode 33 is the next episode that I'll be doing. And I dunno which your guess that's gonna be because the, the next person to do a booking will, will not get poorly.

But, so I'm gonna just talk about five things that I've learned from my guests. They're in no particular order, but they all go towards being a confident person. And that's confident at work in your home life in relationships. And the first one, and this has come up a few times with guests and that's trust yourself and you think, well, okay, what does, what does that actually mean?

That means really understanding what you want, what your values are, what you want to achieve, really knowing who you are. What do you stand for? What's your personality type? What do you like? What turns you on what turns you off and really sticking to that and living by that code that you've set yourself and really knowing if something feels off or something doesn't feel right within you, then you trust that feeling.

And that inner voice that said this is not right. And, and therefore in order, and this is my second one. To be able to trust yourself. You have to listen to yourself. And so that's listening to what your head is saying and what your body is saying. And sometimes your head lets you down because it has an inner voice, or it tells you not to do things or it tells you that you're not good enough.

And all those lots of things about inner voice, but actually. Your head and probably your gut as well. And your body is talking to you all the time. It's reacting, it's responding to you. And that's partly what it's designed to do. It's designed for you to survive, but really listening to that and people say to me, well, how do I do that?

I'm so busy. How in earth do I, not only trust myself, but listen to myself. And my response is you have to make the time to do that. You have to spend time at your own company. You have to spend your time in quiet and silence, and really listening to what is going on in your body and in your head, and really understanding it and accepting.

And it's there because some of the things you might not like accepting it's there and then doing something with it and really analyzing and interpreting what your brain and your body is saying to you. the next one is, and, and I've heard this a lot actually in all my interviews, pretty much every guest I've had has said the same thing, do the things that push you out of your comfort zone.

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And then when you discover who you truly are on the confidence self that you truly are staying in your comfort zone is never really gonna be fulfilling for most people in mid 10 or bored. This is probably where you feel the least confident - do things that push you out of your comfort zone. And one example for me is this podcast.

I am not, you know, I'm natural at talking with people face to face or in groups, but just at the moment, I'm largely just talking to a microphone. And that, to me, when I first started out, pushed me really out of my comfort zone, because I kept saying to myself, well, what am I gonna talk about? You know, who would listen to me?

Why would, and that's some of that's comparisonitis, but really this is pushing out my comfort zone. And now I feel really confident about doing a podcast. I feel really confident that I'm now talking to this microphone, to my audience now, and I'm comfortable with it. I'm comfortable that my voice is gonna be heard all over the world.

And, and I really don't mind what people think about it. You know, their opinion. They're absolutely entitled to it. But by getting to that point, I've had to push myself considerably out of my comfort zone. The next one is get a squad. And what do I mean by that? Well, it has, it's worked for Taylor swift.

ly this is about surrounding [: 00:06:40

And some people say, well, I I've got friends, I've got family. And, but they don't support me. How, how in earth do I, what do I do with that? Because I've, I've known these people for, for a long time and. And sometimes it's painful. You're gonna have to let people go who no longer serve you or have your best interests at heart.

If you decide you want to become a confident individual, you want to become independent. You want to go and do X, Y, and Z. Some people will not come with you and accepting that is hard and then acting on it can even be harder to do. But I think I've always had people come and go up my life. And I don't mean that in, I use people.

but I just think naturally if, if they don't serve me, well, then I have to park company with them because I have ambitions. I have things I want to achieve. And if they don't support that, they're just gonna drag my confidence down. So get a squad, surround yourself with people who have the same confidence levels of you.

Maybe have even [: 00:08:00

Get a squad. And then finally do the work. And people say to me, and I I've asked this in a podcast recently, when I say do the work, it's basically doing all these things. I've just said, trust yourself, listen to you. What your head and your body is saying. Do the things that push you out your comfort zone and get a squad.

That is work. And I say, it's work because it's not something you can just do once. And then that's it over. You've got confidence. You have to work at it. You have to be constantly practicing all these things. You have to be constantly. Listening to what your inner voice is saying and challenging it, you have to be constantly trusting.

You, maybe even have to constantly be pushing yourself out your comfort zone or surrounding yourself with people or reaching out to new people. And this is work. This takes time and confidence or building confidence is not an overnight fix it. Absolutely. Isn't it's it. Time and work. And some people don't like the idea of work they think.

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So there you go. Those, those are my five things that I've picked up from not only from my experiences, coaching client, my clients, but also from, from some of my guests have, have mentioned all these things in their interviews with. So next week, I'm hoping to have a guest back on the show. I'm hoping fingers cross that they're all better.

And I can do some recording next week with, with some guests and, and bring some of their content to you. Give me any feedback on how you found this episode, what you think of the new music and that's on contact@vanessa-murphy.com until next time.

Thank you so much for listening to women in confidence, and I hope you enjoyed it.

t@vanessa-murphy.com. That's [: 00:10:40

time.